Simply put, the death of my sister. After her death, I began to research how such a thing could happen. I had already been studying Substance Use Disorder (SUD) and trauma for many years; however, this was the first time I started looking directly into my family. The writing began as essays, discussing the abuse and trauma and how it relates to SUD. Once I started connecting the dots between trauma and SUD, I wanted to incorporate real-life examples of our experiences to better communicate that relation.

This book was a way for me to process the loss of my sister. I struggled to understand how it could have gotten so bad that she had to die. Through this process I discovered my own history of abuse, as well as how bad the abuse was for her. I needed to understand why. The title has a double meaning. First, to represent the process of how one becomes broken through abuse and trauma. Second, to describe living with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), as it feels to me. There’s a process to being broken by our parents, and there’s living with the consequences of the feeling of being broken.